Stumpy and His Wife

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."

And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."

Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

Cottonwood Art Festival, Spring 2008

I spent last Saturday afternoon at the Cottonwood Art Festival in Richardson, Texas. I've missed the festival for the last three years while we lived in Beaumont. I borrowed Mark's camera to take some pictures, which means Mark didn't get the chance to make any photos :-(

Enjoy a photographic journey to one of my favorite festivals. I don't have cutlines as the pictures are self-explanatory.



© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com
David Young performs at the festival.


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com


© Fayrouz Hancock / newseagles.com
Nine-year-old Ryan Dunayer of Dallas collects flowers near the Cottonwood pond.

When I Say I'm Broke -- I'M BROKE !!!

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed youngm man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes Of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'

'Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.. 'Don't be too hasty!' He said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.'

And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse Manure onto her hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'

The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity This morning.

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ''I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died."

The man was very upset and yelled, ''You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.''

The brother thought about it and apologized.

"So how's Mom?" asked the man.

"She's on the roof and won't come down."

Source: Comedy Central

Meeting Frank McCourt

© Mark M. Hancock / newseagles.com

Mark wanted me to post a more pleasant, classic photo of me smiling and looking Frank McCourt in the eyes. I chose this photo because of a Mark-Fayrouz Hancock inside joke.

Mark always says the simplest things can make me happy. Meeting Frank McCourt on Thursday night definitely made me happy. Thanks to the Spring Academic Lecture Series hosted by the College of Education and Human Development at Lamar University in Beaumont.

I first heard of "Angela's Ashes" in the late 1990s. Originally, I thought it was just another book that made it to the No. 1 bestseller. It wasn't until my colleague in Sydney came to work one day and told us, "I went to the beach yesterday, and you can't believe how many people were reading 'Angela's Ashes' on the beach." She was already halfway through the book. So, I bought the book out of curiosity. And, I fell in love with a miserable memoir that made me laugh out loud.

The book made my daily train commute to work more exciting. I simply fell under the spell of Frank McCourt. As expected, I introduced the book to my friends in Sydney, and we all became fans of the lovable Frank McCourt with a twisted Irish sense of humor.

I took the book with me on my trip to the U.K. in 1999. My brother-in-law, who's Irish, told me how the book was a No. 1 bestseller for more than a year. So, I discovered the global phenomena of Angela's Ashes.

Then came Frank McCourt's "Tis" and "Teacher Man." There's nothing better than listening to Frank McCourt read my favorite chapter of "Teacher Man" live to us on Thursday evening. It was more enjoyable to see Mark enjoying McCourt's lecture, humor and jokes. Another simple thing that made me happier.

Frank McCourt, thanks for the memories.

---

Angela's Ashes

Tis

Teacher Man

The Album "One Chance" By Paul Potts

I first heard of Paul Potts from my friend Hani in Sweden. Last year, he sent me a youtube link to his performance on Britain Got Talent, the English version of The American Idol. At the time, there was a debate about whether he could win the contest. He's not as handsome as Josh Groban. He's an average Joe with a strong voice.

On June 20, 2007, SJ Reidhead wrote on BC Blogcritics magazine:

Paul Potts’ tale could become one of opera’s great Cinderella or Cinderfella stories. Only time will tell. Unlike other opera singers who are struggling for an audience, he comes complete with a ready made one, hanging on to his every note. People who have never heard a note of opera before are tuning in to listen to him. Sometimes dreams do come true. Sometimes dreams come true for people who truly deserve to have them come true.

I first heard about Paul Potts, the soulfully sad Welsh tenor last week, when the blog buzz was just getting started. When I first heard the 36 year old man with the basset hound eyes, the suit that cost thirty-five pounds, and his world-weary appearance, I was in tears. He nailed Puccini’s Nessun Dorma like a pro.

As you watch the critique of the tenor who still works at Carphone Warehouse, watch the look of disbelief on his face. You realize this is a man who is trying one last rash stunt, appearing on Britain’s Got Talent. If he lost, he was planning to quit and throw away the small fortune he spent on voice lessons. Instead, for once, fortune smiled on the man who is afraid to smile because he is so self-conscious of his very crooked teeth.

Paul Potts Nessun Dorma de Puccini (subtitulos esp)

The Cinderella story went global. Yesterday, I bought his Album "One Chance." I don't buy music albums unless I'm buying Josh Groban or Andre' Bocelli albums. I just added Paul Potts to my short list of favorite vocal performers.

His story makes me believe in myself. It makes me believe that I can reach the skies and achieve my dreams no matter how far they seem right now.

---

Paul Potts: One Chance

Lamar Cardinals vs. SE Louisiana Lions

On March 8, I went with Mark to Hammond, LA to cover a basketball game between the Lamar Cardinals and the Southeastern Louisiana Lions. This was my first attempt to photograph sports. I think I did OK considering my team lost the game.


© Fayrouz Hancock
We're probably winning...


© Fayrouz Hancock
Ahhhh, maybe not...


© Fayrouz Hancock
Plan B: We're ready to go home after the game.

The Unexpected Attack of An Eagle Ray

Source: The Miami Herald

This Spotted Eagle Ray jumped into a boat Thursday off the shores of Marathon and hit a woman on board, killing her.


Just when you think the cause of Steve Irwin's death was an exception, we're hit by another freakish death caused by a ray. The Miami Herald reports:

MARATHON -- A morning fishing outing ended in tragedy Thursday for a family of Michigan tourists when a 75-pound spotted eagle ray leaped into their boat and caused the death of a 55-year-old woman.
[...]
''It's so unusual, so rare, so bizarre,'' FWC spokesman Jorge Pino said. ``We see them jump out of the water all the time, but [have] never seen them impact a human being or cause a death.

``She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.''

Spotted eagle rays are capable of leaping completely out of the water when pursued or trying to shake off scavenger fish that attach themselves to the ray.

This ray, which died from being out of the water too long, had a remora -- known as a suckerfish -- attached to its fin.

Life is full of unexpected surprises.

A man with a pegleg, hook hand and..

A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.

Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?

Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.

Interviewer: How did you get that hook?

Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.

Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?

Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.

Interviewer: And that put your eye out?

Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook

Source: Comedy Central

Totally Bats

Two bats are going for their midnight feed. After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.

The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"

The second bat replies, "Follow me. I`ll show you."

After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"

The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"

Other bat says, "I didn't."

Source: Comedy Central

Little Nancy's Pet

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

Source: Comedy Central

The White Killer Whale

© Holly Fearnbach / AP

I became interested in whales after watching the movie "Orca, The Killer Whale"at a very young age. It's a B movie that taught me people should keep their distance from the killer whales.

Now, the scientists are rushing to Alaska after Holly Fearnbach, a research biologist with the National Marine Mammal Laboratory in Seattle spotted the rare white killer whale in Alaska. The National Geographic reports:

The whale was spotted last month while scientists aboard the Oscar Dyson—a National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) research ship—were conducting an acoustic survey of Pollock, a whitefish, near Steller sea lion haul-out sites.

"This is the first time we came across a white killer whale," agreed John Durban, a research biologist at NOAA's Alaska Fisheries Science Center in Seattle.

Fearnbach said the white whale stood out.

"When you first looked at it, it was very white," she said Thursday.

While the whale's saddle area was white, other parts of its body had a subtle yellowish or brownish color, suggesting it was not a true albino, Durban said.

I hope the white killer whale doesn't get caught by scientists, fishermen or curious people. Let the whale live free in its natural environment. If anyone spots it again, take videos and photographs to study his behavior. That would be fair enough.

The Devoted Wife

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to his senses, he motioned for her to come near him.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What, my dear?" she asked gently.

"You're a goddamn jinx!"

Source: Comedy Central

Tough Love

A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:

"No, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!"

Source: Comedy Central

The Wrong Way

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there''s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

Source: Comedy Central

Guess Who?

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.

"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer."

Source: Comedy Central